Teeth Out, Vicodin In
Tomorrow I’m getting all my wisdom teeth removed from my head. Yeah, I’m nervous and all that but I’m more afraid of saying weird things to the surgical staff when I come out of my deep sleep. I’ve never been put under and I don’t know what’ll come out of my mouth (other than my teeth). I have a hard enough time clearly communicating as it is without generating looks of bewilderment from an unassuming audience.
INT. DENTIST’S OFFICE
(patient waking from anesthesia)
NURSE: Okay, we’re all done Ms. Tara. You’re just waking up.
TARA: I never said I would do the lawn! Where’s my favorite pair of pants from 1983? Chocolate popcorn is delicious! I smell purple!
(patient passes out again)
SCENE.
