Point Break of the Speed Matrix

Internet,

Thank you for entertaining my shenanigans as I come out of my post-op pain killer stupor.  It’s been well over 48 hours since my surgery and according to my release form I can attempt to eat solid foods now.  Ummmm…. no ma’am.  I haven’t really been in any pain and I’d like to keep it that way.  Call me a snore but gambling on the physical integrity and comfort level of my jawbone is not what I’m about.   So you can keep your T-bones, your French baguettes, your hard shell tacos, your peanut brittle… your… your… other other foods that require an adult set of molars to breakdown!  What I am about is Easy Mac.

This crap is delicious.  In less time than it takes for me to find my take-out menus on 2 Hydrocodone, I can slap together a bowl of cheesy pasta so soft, I eat it with my big girl cereal spoon.

Yeah, I take bit bites with my big girl cereal spoon!   Yeah, I swallow it whole.  Yeah, it’s soft!  Yeah, it fills me up!  Yeah, sometimes I have pudding after if I’m not too full and there’s some in the fridge! What!

So as you can just chew on that, Internet!  Uh, sorry.  I think the meds and being cooped up for days in my apartment have made me oddly aggressive.

Have a lovely weekend,

t