Monthly Archives: November 2008
Last night I went to my Southern Belle friend’s apartment. She is moving and needed just a skosh of help packing… just a skosh. My first duty was to tackle the kitchen. That’s where I found her collection of twenty-two beer coozies. Let me repeat that. That’s where I found her collection of TWENTY-TWO beer coozies. TWENTY-TWO. That’s exactly twenty-one more than one coozie which is all anyone needs…which is a superfluous amount to begin with.
The SB is from Alabama and it’s like a law or something for them to have at least five coozies on their person at all times. Coozies are a southern phenomenon I think. My Cliff Clavinism on this is that it gets hot in the south…cold bottles of beer sweat in the heat…when bottles perspire they become slippery and people drop them…southerners hate dropping and wasting beer. Coozies provide added grippage while keeping beverages icy cold. You’re welcome.
The practical minimalist in me couldn’t keep her mouth shut and I told SB that she needed to get rid of…all of them. She was not having that so we negotiated down to fifteen coozies. Good Will is in possession of seven cared for and loved coozies because even poor people deserve cold beer.
Please know that she is still the proud owner of a leopard print coozie with a black faux fur trim, a USA pride coozie and at least two coozies advertising over the counter herpes medication (she works in healthcare).
I wonder what the marketing team for the herpes meds coozie was thinking. If I had to pitch the idea, I’d say that people who prioritize protecting their beer probably won’t prioritize protecting their naughty bits and when you don’t protect your naughty bits you may get herpes and as long as you’re protecting your beer you should know what herpes meds will cool your burning naughty bits. Because I guess herpes meds are sort of a “naughty bits coozie”. You’re welcome.
My attempts to “keep it healthy” are not working out for me so much.
Last night Coobs and I went to see Quantum of Solace in Ballston and it was tremendous sexy good times. I loved Casino Royale and this latest 007 installment did not disappoint. Daniel Craig, were you made by the “Seximus Maximus” choir of angels? Where did you come from? You are so dreamy it almost makes me angry. Almost.
So thanks to Coobs for putting up with my commentarty during the film which included a lot of “Damn.” and “yeah, that’s right. uh-huh.” and my treasured one eyebrow raised “oh, really”. It was his second time seeing the flick so I didn’t feel SO terrible.
I walked to the metro stop all juiced up from the film and I must have looked particulary sinful because I was approached by a fresh faced young man in a suit. “Hello, miss. Are you waiting for a friend? I’d love to chat with you for a moment.” He looked like he should have been in an ad for a Salt Lake City big brother/ little brother program. It was very cold out and Daniel Craig was no where near so my tolerance level for random chat with strangers was at a minimum.
Before he could go on, I interrupted and said, “I’m sorry, but who are you with?” and still grinning he said, “Well, I am a missionary with the Church of…”
I interrupted again now noticing that he was wearing a name tag that had the “Church of Jesus Christ Latter Day Saints” on. Mormons.
I decided to not go with an ascerbic response because this kid just looked so hopeful. So with a big smile on my face, I told a half truth and said: “Oh I see. Well, I’m Catholic. So I’m covered.”
He said, “Well that’s just great. You have a great evening.” And I did.
Once again my beloved Independent Film Channel delivers. I was watching Music Blast and they played a live performance of PJ Harvey singing “White Chalk”. This album is a year old and I am a little late in the commentary on this, but then again NONE OF YOU TOLD ME ABOUT HER OUTFIT EITHER.
PJ, I love you. I’ve loved you back when I was very young and still unknown to man. So for a whole three weeks I’ve loved you. That being said, why are you trying to scare me? You look like you came out of Turn of the Screw. And you know what? That book scared the shit out of me!
I know you’re pushing 40 and reinvention is the key to longevity in the business of show but could you please go back to your riot girl-sad-coffee-shop-grunge-but-with-sassy-red-lipstick ‘tude that made me so jealous of you in high school. Singing sad songs in a wedding dress is just about as good a model for feminism as Sarah Palin. Ah, I’m just kidding. I don’t think it’s that severe. I just wanted to make a hack joke about Palin. Friends? K.
So I bought your album anyway because it’s awesome.
“The Piano” is tres chilling as well.
A very merry unbirthday to me! I am a little late in finding this out…I think like a year late. Tim Burton is directing a live action film version of “Alice in Wonderland”. I am thrilled! I love Tim Burton movies and “Alice in Wonderland” is my favorite Disney production. I haven’t read the book but it’s on the list. I wore out the tape on my VHS when I was little by playing back the part where she’s in the garden and the little rose “Bud” peaks out and says, “I think she’s pretty.” Twenty years later, I continue to work on the impression.
And of course the Walrus and the Carpenter scene kills me.
“The time has come,” the Walrus said,
“To talk of many things:
Of shoes—and ships—and sealing-wax—
Of cabbages—and kings—
And why the sea is boiling hot—
And whether pigs have wings.”
on the dancefloor with Beardy and Cleveland after the shows and realizing we all have sick moves
finding a yummy cup of Dunkin’ Donuts coffee (DC disappoints)
watching some great and some not so great improv from Chicago, NYC, Philly and DC teams
realizing I could have fun in a paper bag with Cleveland