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Point Break of the Speed Matrix

Keanu is my Mac. He helps me reach you, Interwebs.

Monthly Archives: October 2009

roseannehalloween

Roseanne circa 1989

 

Roseanne (the early years) was one of the funniest/realest sitcoms written to date.  The show’s Halloween episodes were some of the funniest in the series.  The series has a DVD devoted solely to the Halloween episodes.  Watch a clip from one of my favorites:

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I know two girls who are psyched for this movie…

KatyaandYaroslava

"Hey, did somebody say BATTLE DANCE MOVIE FILM? We are so down times!"

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Crazy Woman

Mr. Meowskers and I are spending Friday with a 10,000 piece puzzle of a woman and her cat looking out the window.

ST. RAPHAEL FEAST DAY DISCOUNT!

The above was the subject line of an email I received from Catholic Match.  Yes.  Listen, hear me out.  My friend signed up for real and I created a dummy account so that I could check out the profiles of the guys she told me to check out and weigh in with my opinion… because that’s what women do.  I didn’t even create a full profile but I will still get the random email from them and I’ve just been too lazy to figure out how to discontinue getting the email updates.

God bless Catholic Match for offering a discount on dating services in honor of St. Raphael the Archangel.  What?  Not familiar with St. Raphael… allow me to elucidate you.

St. Raphael the Archangel is the patron saint of travelers, lovers, happy meetings and INSANITY.

 

 

If you are a stranger and you are touching me, these are what my thoughts look like.

If you are a stranger and you are touching me, these are what my thoughts look like.

I am pretty sure that two swingers were trying to pick  up my friends** the other night… maybe me too.   I arrived late to a restaurant in Georgetown for a quick drink  and when I showed up the girls were being chatted up by a couple that was probably between 40-45.  I directed my tardy for the party apologies to my friends and explained to all four explaining that I had just come from one of the more bizarre performance experiences of my life and I was a little out of sorts.  This couple was very friendly and very interested in hearing about my night of professional mishaps . 

 I’m not trying to be a jerk but having been involved in a similar scenario with a girlfriend, a few years back in New York, my spidey senses told me they were a little too friendly.

Here is what I know:

1.  They are in an upscale restaurant alone and not waiting for friends to join them or to be seated for dinner.

2.  They live together and are long time DC residents… therefore no real need to go out and make new friends.   Why not just sit at a table?

3.  They were celebrating his birthday.

Very friendly convo ensues and they make multiple references about getting together.  My precious roommate has already furnished them with her email address (sighs-looks up) and when they get up to leave he proceeds to give us an all too familiar hug from behind as we stay seated at the bar.   WTF?  I just met you.  Please stop.  Thank you.

By the time we get home, my roommate has a new friend request on Facebook.  After viewing some unseemly photos involving a proud showing of chest hair, we take a look at his profile information and as it would turn out, if given the choice between sausage or taco, he simply says yes to food. 

I will say that I could be very wrong and a little too cynical for my own good.  But if I wanted to hang with other couples I’d probably be half of one first.

**These two girls are lovely Southern belles that go to church regularly and are “glass is half full” kind of people.  Whereas, I am the suspicous New Yorker that asks the question, “Are you guys trying to invite us to a party in your pants?  Because this ain’t the Regal Beagle pal.”

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Dear Internet,

No, I don’t want to be a “sexy” bumble bee.  I want to be a bumble like this gal:

 

 

Where to find for adults?  A swift response is appreciated.

Best,

Tara

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I am a step-mommy/aunt to a Boston Terrier.  Her name is Annabelle Blanche.  Her mom, my roommate,  is from Alabama and was in a sorority.  Annabelle has outfits. 

annabelleI think that sums it up.

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