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Point Break of the Speed Matrix

Keanu is my Mac. He helps me reach you, Interwebs.

Monthly Archives: February 2010

I wonder if Elizabeth Taylor has ever bought a Lean Cuisine, cooked it and then finally understood all the jabs at her White Diamonds commercial.

This is not a novel idea.  Taking a picture of the actual product and comparing it against the advertisement is not ground breaking comedy.  But I’m doing it people.  Because what I was promised and what I got was a difference of Elizabethan proportions… actually Elizabeth Taylor White Diamonds proportions.

A Lean Fantasy

Ex. A - The Lie


My reality.

Ex. B - The hot messy truth.




Hey there, buddy (at right). Don't worry I see you.

Normally the phrase “flying squirrel” would creep the BE-JEBUS out of me but not when it comes to these little guys.  When I become an eccentric billionaire, I will have a special “tree room” in my compound just teaming with these guys so that I may feed them cranberries when I need to unwind.


There's a joke here... but my brain can't make a decision.

Tomorrow night I am performing improv with Chinese Menu at American University’s The Tavern.  The showcase, Laughs for Love, is being hosted by the ladies of Sigma Delta Tau.   The money raised will go towards programs for ending violence against children.  Do you live in DC?  Do you have a soul?  You should come.

And on a side note, I just want to give a shout out to my best friend Lando Calorissian who just happens to be a terrible Sigma Delta Tau sister from a chapter up North and has revealed some secrets of the sisterhood to me over the years and usually over pitchers.  And all I have to say, ladies, is …ew.

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Tara's 5th birthday

Sometimes I need to remind myself of how I used to operate.  When I was little, I was able to enjoy those brief moments in the sun and not let anything silly wipe the smile off my face.  We can’t please all of the people all of the time but we can enjoy personal successes without guilt or apologies.


"I carried a watermelon?"

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They're siblings.