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Point Break of the Speed Matrix

Keanu is my Mac. He helps me reach you, Interwebs.

Category Archives: Music

I miss my friend Dan.  He’s got sick moves.



I am enjoying this song, Miracle, by Raz Ohara and The Odd Orchestra.  Rather than give you a clip of the song’s video I have found an even BETTER video to accompany it.  Puppy!

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Tonight is the night!  DC.  Sketch comedy.  Brick Penguin.  The Family Hemerlein Variety Show.  Warehouse Theater.

-Seaton Smith

-Matt Hemerlein

-Brick Penguin

-Smoke Fairies

Here’s our just posted interview on Brightest Young Things!

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One more night of rehearsal and then, my new sketch group Brick Penguin goes public.  Yikes.  Here’s a new blurb on what we’re mixed up with here. 

The Family Hemerlein Variety Show gets a plug from Perez Hilton.

We are the sketch comedy interludes before the Smoke Fairies hit the stage.  I am seriously not cool enough to hang with these ladies.

You guys wanna grab a salad at Chopt? No? Ok.

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This post is for Lando Calrissian‘s immediate and the internet’s convenient attention.

1.  How have we not been ABBA for Halloween?  2011!

2.  That set is amazing.  Balloons!

3.  Look at how happy Benny (on the piano)  is going into the second verse (it lasts from 1:26 – 1:29 but 1:29 is just for you lady).

This video is where they take a turn for the dramatic.  I do all my break-ups in the tundra too.  ABBA you are my heart!

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Dear Slava,

Please tell me you seen this delish hipstair with the sad eyes.   His name a Valentine and he big times Ukraine super music FOX.  He ask to Timbaland for produce his music.  So he make this video.  I tell you, his song a little funny-weirds though.  He make joke I think… yeah I think sos.  It don’t matter anytimes, because I could listen to him read from a PHONEBOOTH.  His voice very smooth and give me the stomach pinches.. like a good borscht.

Text, gchats, email, skypes or MMS me!


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On Memorial Day I was chatting with my pal Hammy about the serious issues our country is facing during these hard economic times.  That’s a lie.  We were singing songs from The Little Mermaid and drinking Bud Light out of can in the rain (again, thank you service men and women).    She said that her favorite song from the movie was sung by Ursula and it’s #2 on my scale after Les Poissons  (foppish fat Frenchy beats sarcastic husky voiced villain everytime in my book).  As I tried to recall all the lyrics I was flooded with fond memories of my awkward prepubescent years… which are not much different than today except for the fact that I’m not currently wearing Panama Jack boxers underneath an itchy plaid jumper while writing furiously in my journal… I’m wearing itchy lady businesswoman office clothes and typing into my “space computer diary”.

Every Friday for about a year my BFF and I would sing along with the movie while making brownie batter (it never made it to the oven)  and setting each other’s hair in hot rollers.  We’d crack jokes about Ursula’s ridiculous cleavage and Prince Eric’s shockingly obvious bulge.  We’d try to outdo each other’s French accent during Les Poissons and wonder aloud about the kind of boys we’d date once we matured and were given metaphorical legs of our own.  

I just looked up the lyrics to Ursula’s song.  Upon reading them I was hit with two thoughts:

1.  As a rule, the lyrics sung by the villain are supposed to be shocking, ridiculous, skewed or just plain false.

2.  The lyrics depict exactly how Ariel gets her man.


…[C]ome on, they’re not all that impressed with conversation
True gentlemen avoid it when they can
But they dote and swoon and fawn
On a lady who’s withdrawn
It’s she who holds her tongue who gets her man!

Thankfully my BFF and I were dense enough (full of brownie batter) for none of that nonsense to seep into our subconscious.   We not only got our legs but voices as well.  And yes, perchance there may have been times when our yaps have gotten us in trouble and taken us down a notch on the “elegant and demure scale”  but we never really saw being quiet and mousy as desirable.  Why not just say the funny thing?  Why not laugh as hard as you can when you can?  Why not share embarrassing moments about which others can identify?  

I don’t really know what my point is here and perhaps a mousy girl might provide a more delicate description for what I am about to conclude but the best summation I, me, Tara, can give right now is “everybody poops”.  We all may as well laugh about it.