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Point Break of the Speed Matrix

Keanu is my Mac. He helps me reach you, Interwebs.

Category Archives: Musings

God, this site is amazing!  I think all of them are my favorite but here are a few that hit a nerve for me:

                                                                            “for tillie, having a mad men premiere party means dressing up, drinking manhattans and being totally fucking insufferable” – reblogged from Hipster Puppies

daisy needs to know the “bathroom sitch” at the club tonight, because she’s on day 5 of the master cleanse

I think we all know that I will be submitting my roomie’s dog to this site.

Here is a link to a TIME magazine article published this week.


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Dear Slava,

Please tell me you seen this delish hipstair with the sad eyes.   His name a Valentine and he big times Ukraine super music FOX.  He ask to Timbaland for produce his music.  So he make this video.  I tell you, his song a little funny-weirds though.  He make joke I think… yeah I think sos.  It don’t matter anytimes, because I could listen to him read from a PHONEBOOTH.  His voice very smooth and give me the stomach pinches.. like a good borscht.

Text, gchats, email, skypes or MMS me!


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Since Oprah is not doing her “favorite things” episode this year I figured I’d chime in with my own faves. 

In no particular order:


Sod for the Fireplace – If you are lucky enough to have a proper wood burning fireplace in your home then I’d highly recommend getting some true Irish sod  to burn for special occasions.  I can’t describe the smell other than it’s more comforting than burning leaves in the Fall.  Here is a hysterical quote I pulled from a website about turf, “The ambience of the aroma will rekindle for you the romance and nostalgia of Ireland.”

Calvin Klein – All goods 40% off today and tomorrow!  I have my eye on the convertible mittens and popcorn knit scarf.

Travel Size Your Favorites – This is not ground breaking information but it really does make things a lot better when you travel if you don’t take your full sized bath items. I just went to the website and found that both Crabtree and Philsophy carry travel sized bottles of my favorite shower gels and shampoos.  It will make things a little more homey for when you travel next.


Västerbotten CheeseBuy a wedge of this, a baguette or hard crusted round loaf and a high quality cheese slicer and enjoy.  I ate this for breakfast every morning when I was visiting a friend in Sweden .  There it is considered the “king of cheeses”.

Salmon Pinwheels – I’ve written about these delights before and I shall continue their promotion.  Have you ever had one of these yummies?  It’s smoked salmon rollen around an herb cream cheese and given a wasabi dressing garnish or perhaps a basil leaf and a tooth pick.  You can make it on your own or get them in the salmon section at Whole Foods.


Funky Chunky Chocolate Popcorn – All of their products are crazy delicious but chocolate covered popcorn is the salty sweet of my heart.

Godiva Candy Cane Truffles – There would always be a box of Godiva in my house at Christmas.   I think their truffles are the best.  The champagne ones are my fave but I like to try the new seasonal ones.  If I find myself in a mall with a Godiva shop during the holidays, I’ll always buy two.


The Nook from Barnes & Noble – It’s the same deal as Kindle from Amazon but it’s called “the nook”  so I’m sold.  The mere mention of the word makes me think “snowy eve, chenile blanket, piping hot cocoa and my latest erotic fiction novel”.

Apple iPhone Walldock – Faster charging and no tangly chords.  It works for all generation iPods too.


Restoration Hardware Stocking Stuffers – There are a lot of brightly colored goodies here.  When I saw the can of “Charades” I knew I would have to get a can for my improv buds and I to play this Winter.


DC Christmas Markets – It may not be  Nuremberg but it’s ours.  Anyways, you put little white lights on tents on a chilly eve with the faint smell of crepes cooking outside and I dare anyone to complain.

Masa 14 – The new tapas place located next to Bar Pilar on 14th St. is not only delicious but cost effective.  It’s only open two months but I’ve hit this place up about three or four times.  The host and waitstaff have been extremely pleasant and accomodating whenever I needed a table during the dinner rush and we very excited to have people from Source coming by before and after shows.  My fave on the menu is the Serrano Ham Flatbread with goat cheese, cantaloupe, arugula, truffle and lime for only $8.

Washington Improv Theater (“WIT”) – My home away from home.  It serves up the best long form improv in DC and the word is finally getting out.  WIT has grown tremendously in the last few years.  The classes program has triple enrollment and there are more troupes performing than ever.  The run is still going so don’t miss a show!

Woolly Mammoth Theatre Co. –  Chicago’s Neo- Futurists are back with a run of Too Much Light Makes the Baby Go Blind.  They have a special New Year’s Eve performance with a midnight toast that my theater nard friends and I shall be attending.  I love this space almost as much as WIT… almost.


I think it’s important to contribute to causes for which you have a personal connection.  If you do, you’re interest level will never wane and you’ll find that your eager to contribute your time/attention/money to next event.  There are a lot of worthy causes out there so if you can, just pick one that means something to you. 

I love my dad, a retired police officer, and animals… even the weird ones.

The National Law Enforcement Officers Memorial Fund – On average, one law enforcement officer is killed in the line of duty somewhere in the United States every 53 hours.  I ran the Police Week 5k this past Spring in memoriam of a fallen police officer.  I felt good about completing the race but I felt even better that I did it in honor of someone else. 

Smithsonian National Zoo – I volunteered here for two years .  This zoo is our nation’s largest and in need of the most funding.  Tai Shan, the adorable panda cub that brought national interest to the zoo four years ago is set to return to China in 2010.  

Washington Humane Society – You can send donations directly to the shelter.  These donations help pay for the animals get their medical treatments and meals.  A lot of these animals were found wandering the DC streets or tied outside to an abandoned home.  All they need is some love and they could be a loyal friend for life.

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Thank you for entertaining my shenanigans as I come out of my post-op pain killer stupor.  It’s been well over 48 hours since my surgery and according to my release form I can attempt to eat solid foods now.  Ummmm…. no ma’am.  I haven’t really been in any pain and I’d like to keep it that way.  Call me a snore but gambling on the physical integrity and comfort level of my jawbone is not what I’m about.   So you can keep your T-bones, your French baguettes, your hard shell tacos, your peanut brittle… your… your… other other foods that require an adult set of molars to breakdown!  What I am about is Easy Mac.

That crap is delicious.  In less time than it takes for me to find my take-out menus on 2 Hydrocodone, I can slap together a bowl of cheesy pasta so soft, I eat it with my big girl cereal spoon.

Yeah, I take bit bites with my big girl cereal spoon!   Yeah, I swallow it whole.  Yeah, it’s soft!  Yeah, it fills me up!  Yeah, sometimes I have pudding after if I’m not too full and there’s some in the fridge! What!

So as you can just chew on that, Internet!  Uh, sorry.  I think the meds and being cooped up for days in my apartment have made me oddly aggressive.

Have a lovely weekend,


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Yeah.  I’m out of surgery now for a few hours.  I have no pain.  I’ve had no pain all day.  You know what I have had???????  Mmmm Vicodin.  It’s delicious.  Here try it.  I’m passing you one through the screen.  No f’real.  Take it.  I have so many!  You’re cool.  You know what else is cool.  Vicodin…Lenny Kravitz and those cell phone video watches I’m sure they have in Japan.  I want one.


Ok later.  I love you.


Tomorrow I’m getting all my wisdom teeth removed from my head.  Yeah, I’m nervous and all that but I’m more afraid of saying weird things to the surgical staff when I come out of my deep sleep.  I’ve never been put under and I don’t know what’ll come out of my mouth (other than my teeth).  I have a hard enough time clearly communicating as it is without generating looks of bewilderment from an unassuming audience.


(patient waking from anesthesia)

NURSE:  Okay, we’re all done Ms. Tara.  You’re just waking up.

TARA:  I never said I would do the lawn!  Where’s my favorite pair of pants from 1983?  Chocolate popcorn is delicious!  I smell purple!

(patient passes out again)



I am what’s wrong with America.  I can identify this woman (at right).  And I’m pretty sure I could name all the winners of Flavor of Love, I Love New York and Charm School but I’m still fuzzy on all the Supreme Court justices.

I’ve recently gotten into The Rachel Zoe Project.  1.  Because I don’t get home until after 10pm on Mondays and I like to unwind with less challenging material than most DCers and 2)  Have you seen this chick?  Just look at her!  She’s SO STRESSED!  Her job is DEMANDING, SERIOUS and EXHAUSTING.

This is Rachel Zoe’s emaciated right hand, Taylor Jacobson.  She is what I imagine a stubbed out Camel Light would look and sound like if it decided to take human form and walk amongst us.  She is self-described as “socially awkward” and has a world view matching that of  Zimunda’s Crown Prince Akeem (pre-visit to Jackson Heights).

Notwithstanding the foregoing, I cannot peel myself away from this program.  Who can blame me, Internet?  It has all the crucial elements for addicting even the most critical of audiences.  It celebrates an industry that you cannot imagine thriving in this recession and yet does.  It’s protagonist and her henchmen are bad vapid people who feel like they are curing cancer through style.  And it allows you, the audience member, to feel superior in your day to day because you have a serious job that helps others during this financial meltdown… like working at an investment bank or whatever.

Wait!  Before you send me the cerulian sweater clip from The Devil Wears Prada.  I know there’s a need for fashion, frills and frivoloty.  I like pretty things.  I like award shows with fancy dresses, magazines filled with cool looking shoes and jewelry that I cannot possibly afford.  I get it.  I just don’t get the Atlas-like struggle each of these people seem to have on a daily basis with JEANS.