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Point Break of the Speed Matrix

Keanu is my Mac. He helps me reach you, Interwebs.


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Well, my rag tag FIST team made it all the way to the final 4 of Washington Improv Theater’s Fighting Improv Smackdown Tournament.  We lost in the semi-final round to our friends in The Flea Sisters.  We were the second to perform in the match and I knew it was all over for us when we got off stage.  The Flea Sisters had a great show and they ended with a super fun song to boot.  Backstage we congratulated them before the results were read but they weren’t convinced they won yet.  We had a packed house of over 100 people and it was hard to tell how you were doing while onstage.  One thing was certain, we all wanted to end on a super funny high note.  So I suggested that we all do a spit take when the results were read.  That way no one gives us sad-loser-sorry-face and six hams get what they really want: one more laugh.  Here’s the pic:

"...and the winner is... The Flea Sisters!"

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Today is not awesome for these reasons:

  • traffic caused by the Nuclear Summit closed a metro,  made me super late for work during a stressful week
  • filed my taxes.  My accountant: “Your little acting checks aren’t really helping you out taxwise.”
  • some fool at work ate my Weight Watchers lunch
  • there is a lady on my floor that wears a cheap perfume that smells like a turd soaked in musk
  • I found a $100 dollar charge on my Amex from, a service I have not used in… a long time, and had to have the following conversation:

Operator:  It’s a great day at  How can I help you?

Me: I’m calling to dispute a $100 charge made to my Amex.  I did not receive a renewal notice and I would like to terminate services.

Operator:  Oh ok.  Did you find someone?

Me:  I would like to terminate services.  

Last night at the improv tournament after party my friend sat me down in front of a computer to show me this.  I woke up this morning and thought I need to see this again.   Priorities.

– F*ckin MAGNETS!  How do they work?!

– I don’t want to talk to a scientist!   Ya’ll muthaf*ckin’ liars and gettin’ me pissed!


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Real Housewives of New York: Ramona (aka “Crazy Eyes).  This woman is batshit bananas crazy.


I'd be such a slampa for this guy.

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