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Point Break of the Speed Matrix

Keanu is my Mac. He helps me reach you, Interwebs.

Tag Archives: Food

I wonder if Elizabeth Taylor has ever bought a Lean Cuisine, cooked it and then finally understood all the jabs at her White Diamonds commercial.

This is not a novel idea.  Taking a picture of the actual product and comparing it against the advertisement is not ground breaking comedy.  But I’m doing it people.  Because what I was promised and what I got was a difference of Elizabethan proportions… actually Elizabeth Taylor White Diamonds proportions.

A Lean Fantasy

Ex. A - The Lie


My reality.

Ex. B - The hot messy truth.



Day 17:  I’m on my second day of OJ.  It’s weird.  Yestday I drank 3/4 of a carton of OJ throughout the day along with lots of water and I felt full.  I should be moving onto some raw fruits and veggie broth tomorrow.  It’ll be 21 days before I eat solids again but I’m done writing about this.  I bore me. 

I will say that I feel great and have lots of energy.  I feel more creative and have been more productive than I’ve been in a long time.   All in all, I’d have to say that it’s been a totally positive experience and I plan to do another this year.

Oh and Beyonce, I’m better than you.

(I still think you’re super cool… but I’m better.)

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Crepes? Oui, si vous plais.

“14th Street is about to get totally crepe-tastic.  In what appears to be a remarkable coincidence, not one but two creperies are set to open up across from each other at the corner of 14th and S streets.” – Reblogged from 14th and You . 


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Every third Thursday of November marks the release of the Beaujolais Nouveau as set forth by French law.  I buy a bottle every year because I like traditions and French things.  It’s a very light red wine; fermented for only a few weeks before it’s bottled and shipped. Navin Johnson would love this stuff.  It’s the “fresh wine” he so desires.  

If you’ve got no tolerance for booze it’s a nice light alternative.  Eez like a little behbeh wine.

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Thank you for entertaining my shenanigans as I come out of my post-op pain killer stupor.  It’s been well over 48 hours since my surgery and according to my release form I can attempt to eat solid foods now.  Ummmm…. no ma’am.  I haven’t really been in any pain and I’d like to keep it that way.  Call me a snore but gambling on the physical integrity and comfort level of my jawbone is not what I’m about.   So you can keep your T-bones, your French baguettes, your hard shell tacos, your peanut brittle… your… your… other other foods that require an adult set of molars to breakdown!  What I am about is Easy Mac.

That crap is delicious.  In less time than it takes for me to find my take-out menus on 2 Hydrocodone, I can slap together a bowl of cheesy pasta so soft, I eat it with my big girl cereal spoon.

Yeah, I take bit bites with my big girl cereal spoon!   Yeah, I swallow it whole.  Yeah, it’s soft!  Yeah, it fills me up!  Yeah, sometimes I have pudding after if I’m not too full and there’s some in the fridge! What!

So as you can just chew on that, Internet!  Uh, sorry.  I think the meds and being cooped up for days in my apartment have made me oddly aggressive.

Have a lovely weekend,


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Are you tastey?  Am I buying you later?

Are you tastey? Am I buying you later?

The Smart Ones I had for lunch today was so salty I had to apply chapstick after finishing.