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Point Break of the Speed Matrix

Keanu is my Mac. He helps me reach you, Interwebs.

Monthly Archives: January 2010

When I was little you dressed up in your Sunday finest for trans-Atlantic trips or other trips requiring great distance.  Your parents planned well in advance, saved money for months, and had lists of handwritten numbers and addresses for immediate contact once you got to the other side.  You only communicated with the people you met on the other side and the rest of your hometownies just had to wait to hear how wonderful  or bad it all was.

You're going to have to stow that. Thanks.

When I was 10 I spent a summer in Ireland and England.  It was my first time out of my time zone and away from my schoolmates for such a long time.  When I returned I didn’t know what the cool song on the radio was, it seemed like everyone grew 3 inches or got boobs and I had developed a taste for things outside of PB&J.  I was a foreigner for my friends.  And that was the exciting thing about travel.  It changed you.

Now. I am typing this “blog” post 34,000 feet in the air, I’ve just swiped my credit card in the console for another chardonnay (I hate flying/ I love drinking), as I listen to my iPod 90s mix whilst sitting in the comfiest dirtbag attire because no one picks people up from the airport anymore.

Also, this Virgin fuselage looks like a goddamn disco.



Time to get BUCKWILD.

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Hold your breath, make a wish, count to three.


Day 17:  I’m on my second day of OJ.  It’s weird.  Yestday I drank 3/4 of a carton of OJ throughout the day along with lots of water and I felt full.  I should be moving onto some raw fruits and veggie broth tomorrow.  It’ll be 21 days before I eat solids again but I’m done writing about this.  I bore me. 

I will say that I feel great and have lots of energy.  I feel more creative and have been more productive than I’ve been in a long time.   All in all, I’d have to say that it’s been a totally positive experience and I plan to do another this year.

Oh and Beyonce, I’m better than you.

(I still think you’re super cool… but I’m better.)

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Awesome.  More juicing.Day 16:  The end is in sight.   Today I start drinking OJ instead of the lemonade concoction in order to prepare my system for solid foods again.  It’ll be a few days of this and then I can move on to vegetable broth!  This sounds so pathetic. 

Yesterday, I spent an hour researching the best “cauliflower mashed potato” recipes.  I need one of those cuisinarts.  All great recipes require a stage of blending or pureeing. 

I have two birthday parties to go to this weekend.  This should be interesting.  Apart from teaching and rehearsing I have been pretty anti-social during this cleanse.  It’s easier that way.  But I can’t skip these birthdays because I actually like these people.  I’m sure it will be fine.  I’ll just drink lemon with seltzer and tell everyone I’m pregnant.


Day 15: 

Dear Diet Coke,

I’m wishin’ you the best,
Pray that you are blessed,
Much success, no stress, and lots of happiness,
(I’m better than that)
I’m not gonna blast you on the radio,
(I’m better than that)
I’m not gonna lie on you or your family, yo,
(I’m better than that)
I’m not gonna hate you in the magazine,
(I’m better than that)
I’m not gonna compromise my Christianity,
(I’m better than that)
You know I’m not gonna diss you on the Internet
Cause my momma told me better than that.

I’m a survivor.  I’m not gone give up.  I’m not gone stop.  I’m gone work harder.