Tag Archives: Work
November 23, 2009 Firewalled By The Fratelli’s
No more facebook, twitter or cool blog theme changes from my work ‘puter. Sads. We had a good run, Internet. I can still access this blog during the work day but I imagine it’s only a matter of time before they take that away too.
I feel like Chunk trying to get that last bite of ice cream before the Fratelli’s snatch it all away.
But I am resourceful, Keanu shall wait for my use at home and I will figure out how to do mobile situations and the like.
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- Posted under news
March 12, 2009 Well It Happened
Yes. I finally added this dreaded to scenario to my list of “awkward conversations that exist only on film and in my life” .
I ran into one of my bosses while waiting in the elevator bank and he was dressed nicely in a dark suit. The dress code at the job is casual.
Me: [Smiling] Morning! You’re all poshed up!
As he is a lawyer I am expecting one of two possible answers: SEC meeting or Board meeting
Boss: [deep breath] Funeral.
And scene.
Tags: Awkwardsies, Work
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- Posted under Truth, Work
February 25, 2009 Tara Wins Award; Makes Jokes
A leg lamp would have been less embarassing than my thank you tanking.
Today at work I got an award. I didn’t realize it was a big deal. The news of this was circulated companywide and I’ve been receiving nice congrats emails from people I don’t know all day. I’ve never worked in a place that gives out awards. I suppose corporations do this to boost morale and provide incentives to be more efficient and whatever. This is not the kind of attention I enjoy, so in response to said emails I replied back to the team that gave it to me (including the CFO and General Counsel) with the following “thank you” speech:
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- Posted under Work
January 15, 2009 Like You’re Not Weird
“The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” -Albert Einstein
[Be prepared to read the most exciting story ever told.]
Most days I bring into work some low-cal budget friendly frozen entree to have for my lunch. And every day I do the same thing. I treat the microwave like a monkey would a computer. For some reason my brain is not comfortable with or trusting of appliances outside of my own home. I feel like they’re (mostly microwaves but also fridges) trying to TRICK me or ruin my lunch.
Besides, this work microwave is weird. It’s all modern but it has a dial and no buttons which IMMEDIATELY makes it suspect. And other people use it and…. I don’t know what their food is doing to the inside of it… changing the electrons inside of the microwave so that it will no longer cook my food properly maybe? I don’t know, ok?
So I pop my sodium bomb into the crazy silver time machine, set it for 5 minutes and walk back to my desk. As soon as I reach my desk 50 feet away I am CONVINCED that 4.5 minutes has past and 1) I don’t want my food to blow up and 2) I don’t want to be the asshole that leaves their lunch in the microwave when it’s done. This motivation does not originate with professional courtesy but rather a simple fear of dirty co-workers manhandling my food. Dirty dirty co-workers with their weird food and their weird hands that prepare their weird food.
So naturally I break into a trot down the hall while passing Marketing. I know what they must be thinking ( “There’s goes that crazy bitch ‘fraid her food gonna BLOW UP!”). Screw you, Marketing.
Anyhow, I reach the microwave and sure enough 45 seconds have passed. Perhaps today is THE DAY it’s fully cooked and ready. I open the microwave and give the meal a full examination. Is the slit wide enough? Does it need to be positioned differently? Should I stir things with my fork? It doesn’t matter because I do all of those things. I then pop it back in, set the timer for 5 minutes…and the mobius begins again.
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- Posted under Musings, Revelations
Point Break of the Speed Matrix 