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Point Break of the Speed Matrix

Keanu is my Mac. He helps me reach you, Interwebs.

Tag Archives: Friends

My blog hits skyrocketed today with the post about my sweet Amer-Asian delight.  It seems I’m not the only Keanu superfan out there.  Why even this evening my friend found this on the wall of the bathroom of the PIT (People’s Improv Theater) tonight and was considerate enough to send this photo along.  I love the playful use of color and the bold choice of font for this tag but I am quite disappointed in a few youngsters’ stab at humor (see “balls” and “orgy”  top and right).  Tsk tsk you scamps!

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My friend, Lando Calirissian, is on her way to join me for the decade’s big finish.  You might remember Lando from earlier posts… Her most clicked upon being this one.

  It was but 10 years ago this eve that she, myself and several other dear friends found ourselves on the floor of the Nantucket Ferry doing our best impression of the chuckle patch from The Magic Garden.

Tired from our drive to Cape Cod, the early morning hour and the rocking of a slow moving boat, five young people wound up in a Mexican Standoff with the Sandman about 30 miles offshore.  Some of us dropped our weapons and were taken out fast by Doctor Tonight, while others tried in vain to hold their piece.  But as the minutes wore on our arms grew so very HEAVY.

There we lay tangled across our duffle bags and on each other in an immovable mass of fleece and gortex.  Our pale skin poking out of dark material like streaks of light through a crack of a dirty window, just enough for others to avoid stepping on us.   At first glance it would be hard to determine which of us were actually alive and which of us had just died with our eyes open.   We must have looked like some kind of East-Coast-Irish-Polack-Ratking.   

In these times, at least for us who still had our guns blazin’,  the only natural form of communication is through complaint and/or sarcasm.

Thankfully the ferry TVs were set to coverage of the Millenium celebrations around the world.  Considering the circumstances, the program became the perfect whipping boy for us not to kill each other.  A few of us were awake enough to hear a very enthusiastic John Tesh yelling, “HAPPY NEW YEAR BEIJING!”   And that’s all we needed to survive the ride.

Rat 1: “Like he’s happy for BEIJING!” 

Rat 1: “Hey Tesh, that’s goddamn Hong Kong.” 

Rat 2: “Tell me again how John Tesh became the ambassador of Millenium wishes to our silent political foe.”

Rat 3: “Hey Tesh, my new year’s wish is to smack you until all your hair falls out.”

Rat 1: “Knock knock.”

Rat 3:”Who’s there?”

Rat 1: “It’s me John T-”

Rat 2: “I just shot you, John Tesh.”

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This is part of an email sent to me this morning by my best friend.   Bridget is her 3.5 year old.  Charlotte is her 2.5 year old… who loves Princess Aurora (Sleeping Beauty) more than anything on this planet.  She has one other child… Lucy.

Bridget ripped the arm off of Charlotte’s Sleeping Beauty Doll (Charlotte is unaware at this time.  I didn’t actually see Bridget do it, but I have circumstantial evidence.) 

I said to Bridget, “Did you rip the arm off of Aurora?” 

Bridget: No, I didn’t.

Me: Then who did? 

Bridget:  My brother, Coco.

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I used to be in this awesome improv troupe called DMG until they kicked me out after a little misunderstanding involving me, the troupe’s Volkswagon Bus and some young gentleman fans.   And all I’m going to say about that is if there’s a beard on the face… play ball or whatever.  We continue to disagree on this point.

Bygones, although they may not support my life choices I will always be their biggest fan.  Tonight they make their winter run debut at Washington Improv Theater.  And as is just so happens that the tall-blonde-funny-Hammy in Seasonal Disorder is their new coach.  I am excited to see them tonight.  And out of respect for their opinions I did not invite, Cody.

Entitlement League, another exciting group full of whipper snappers that stay on the right side of statutory situations is on tonight as well and then there is an IMPROV JAM open to all audience members.  Come play with the best long form improvisors in DC!

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The only thing that made staying in on Friday night bearable was being home to see my dear friend Dan‘s appearance on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon.  He was cast as the “groom” for a bit they filmed on Friday the 13th.  He really sold “surprised groom”.  I cried and that ain’t just the Hydrocodone talking… maybe whispering.  His appearance was brief but the camera stayed on him long enough for all of us cheering at home to get a glimpse of that money maker mug.  WIT and DC’s loss is truly New York City’s gain.  We miss you buddy and can’t wait to see more!

CLICK HERE TO WATCH!!!

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I am a step-mommy/aunt to a Boston Terrier.  Her name is Annabelle Blanche.  Her mom, my roommate,  is from Alabama and was in a sorority.  Annabelle has outfits. 

annabelleI think that sums it up.

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Please don

Please don't leave me, Katie!

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