Three Cheer’s For Dan Hodapp & His First Jimmy Fallon Appearance

The only thing that made staying in on Friday night bearable was being home to see my dear friend Dan’s appearance on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon.  He was cast as the “groom” for a bit they filmed on Friday the 13th.  He really sold “surprised groom”.  I cried and that ain’t just the Hydrocodone talking… maybe whispering.  His appearance was brief but the camera stayed on him long enough for all of us cheering at home to get a glimpse of that money maker mug.  WIT and DC’s loss is truly New York City’s gain.  We miss you buddy and can’t wait to see more!

CLICK HERE TO WATCH!!!

 

 

I Can Has A Cheeseburger

Internet,

Thank you for entertaining my shenanigans as I come out of my post-op pain killer stupor.  It’s been well over 48 hours since my surgery and according to my release form I can attempt to eat solid foods now.  Ummmm…. no ma’am.  I haven’t really been in any pain and I’d like to keep it that way.  Call me a snore but gambling on the physical integrity and comfort level of my jawbone is not what I’m about.   So you can keep your T-bones, your French baguettes, your hard shell tacos, your peanut brittle… your… your… other other foods that require an adult set of molars to breakdown!  What I am about is Easy Mac.

This crap is delicious.  In less time than it takes for me to find my take-out menus on 2 Hydrocodone, I can slap together a bowl of cheesy pasta so soft, I eat it with my big girl cereal spoon.

Yeah, I take bit bites with my big girl cereal spoon!   Yeah, I swallow it whole.  Yeah, it’s soft!  Yeah, it fills me up!  Yeah, sometimes I have pudding after if I’m not too full and there’s some in the fridge! What!

So as you can just chew on that, Internet!  Uh, sorry.  I think the meds and being cooped up for days in my apartment have made me oddly aggressive.

Have a lovely weekend,

t

 

 

 

In Praise of Jebus…

Yeah.  I’m out of surgery now for a few hours.  I have no pain.  I’ve had no pain all day.  You know what I have had???????  Mmmm Vicodin.  It’s delicious.  Here try it.  I’m passing you one through the screen.  No f’real.  Take it.  I have so many!  You’re cool.  You know what else is cool.  Vicodin…Lenny Kravitz and those cell phone video watches I’m sure they have in Japan.  I want one.

 

Ok later.  I love you.

Teeth Out, Vicodin In

Tomorrow I’m getting all my wisdom teeth removed from my head.  Yeah, I’m nervous and all that but I’m more afraid of saying weird things to the surgical staff when I come out of my deep sleep.  I’ve never been put under and I don’t know what’ll come out of my mouth (other than my teeth).  I have a hard enough time clearly communicating as it is without generating looks of bewilderment from an unassuming audience.

INT. DENTIST’S OFFICE

(patient waking from anesthesia)

NURSE:  Okay, we’re all done Ms. Tara.  You’re just waking up.

TARA:  I never said I would do the lawn!  Where’s my favorite pair of pants from 1983?  Chocolate popcorn is delicious!  I smell purple!

(patient passes out again)

SCENE.

Uncle Jesse’s Girl

Today I officially lost my mind and started a daily one-sided conversation with John Stamos on Twitter.  I’m sure this will be HILARIOUS…. because I’m making a JOKE… [looks around sheepishly] Uh heh.